Why Your Emotional Health Is the Best Gift You Can Give Your Kids with Hilary Jacobs Hendel

About this sermon

If you’ve ever lost your cool with your kids and then felt that crushing wave of guilt come sweeping in after — this episode is for you. This week, Jen and Amy sit down with psychotherapist and emotions educator Hilary Jacobs Hendel, author of It’s Not Always Depression and the new book Parents Have Feelings, Too, to talk about what happens when we stop ignoring our own emotions and start bringing more calm, curiosity, and compassion into our families. Hilary shares her groundbreaking Change Triangle model — a simple but powerful tool that helps us move from anxiety, shame, and reactivity to understanding what’s really underneath: our core emotions like anger, sadness, fear, and joy. Together, they unpack: ● How to break cycles we inherited from our own parents ● What “open-hearted parenting” looks like in real life ● How to repair when we’ve said or done something we regret ● Why healing our emotions may be the greatest legacy we give our kids It’s a conversation full of science, self-compassion, and deep sighs of relief — a reminder that parents have feelings too, and tending to them isn’t selfish; it’s sacred work. Whether you’re parenting toddlers, teens, or adult children, there’s something here to serve you (and it’s a great one to share with a friend). Key Quotes: “It's always possible for relationships and the brain to change, and they happen hand in hand, so it is never too late.” – Hilary Jacobs Hendel “What I needed to do was slow everything down and get curious. Get to know this kid, say, ‘Tell me a little bit more about what's going on.’ Question my own values and the ways I thought it was going to be, all these fantasies that I came in with at the expense of my kid when I thought I was helping.” – Hilary Jacobs Hendel “Self-awareness is an investment that comes back in dividends and capital gains beyond anything that we can imagine. And it's so much more relaxing to parent this way.” – Hilary Jacobs Hendel “I can shout from the rooftops that emotions education is important, just like reading and math are important. In high school biology we learn we have a heart, lungs, and pancreas, but emotions affect us far worse. Every single day of our lives. You’d think somebody would want to pay attention to teaching us a little bit about them.” – Hilary Jacobs Hendel Tags: Jen Hatmaker, For the Love Podcast, Hilary Jacobs Hendel, Parents Have Feelings Too, It’s Not Always Depression, emotional health, parenting, emotions education, mental health, Change Triangle, therapy tools, open-hearted parenting, parenting advice, family healing, parenting guilt, emotional regulation, parenting teens, mindful parenting, self-awareness, compassion in parenting, breaking generational cycles, motherhood, fatherhood, psychology, emotional literacy Resources Mentioned in This Episode: ➢ Parents Have Feelings, Too: A Guide to Navigating Your Emotions So You And Your Family Can Thrive by Hilary Jacobs Hendel and Juli Fraga - https://amzn.to/4h3wtlf ➢ For The Love Of Reconnecting Episode 03: Making Good Use of Our Emotions: Hilary Jacobs Hendel - https://jenhatmaker.com/podcasts/series-32/making-good-use-of-our-emotions-hilary-jacobs-hendel/ ➢ It's Not Always Depression: Working the Change Triangle to Listen to the Body, Discover Core Emotions, and Connect to Your Authentic Self by Hilary Jacobs Hendel - https://amzn.to/3L3an6f ➢ The Change Triangle - https://www.hilaryjacobshendel.com/whats-the-change-triangle ➢ Awake: A Memoir by Jen Hatmaker - https://amzn.to/4nCb9pi ➢ Simple Habit meditation app - https://www.simplehabit.com/ ➢ The Change Triangle YouTube Channel - https://www.youtube.com/c/thechangetriangle/videos Guest’s Links: Website - https://www.hilaryjacobshendel.com/ Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/hilaryjacobshendel/ Twitter - https://x.com/HilaryJHendel Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/AuthorHilaryJacobsHendel Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/c/thechangetriangle/videos Connect with Jen! Jen’s Website - https://jenhatmaker.com/ Jen’s Instagram - https://instagram.com/jenhatmaker Jen’s Twitter - https://twitter.com/jenHatmaker/ Jen’s Facebook - https://facebook.com/jenhatmaker Jen’s YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/user/JenHatmaker The For the Love Podcast is presented by Audacy.

Topics

• Parenting